All of us are put in situations at work or in life where we hear people gossiping about others. Often, it’s just opinions a coworker or a friend might have about another coworker or friend. We might not know if what they are saying is all facts or stories they came up with because of past hurts. When you are in that situation, do you join the gossip or try to stay away from it? I’m guilty of joining some of those conversations; in others, I don’t say anything. I’m also guilty of being a gossiper myself.
Recently I was in a conversation with a friend who was complaining about another person. I didn’t feel right when many bad things were said about the other person who was not in the room. Though I didn’t feel comfortable with what was being said, I also didn’t say anything to defend that person. That’s when I realized it was equally wrong not to speak up in those situations. I got reminded about Jesus, who always stood up for the weak and people who couldn’t defend themselves. I hope I will get better at speaking up and not be silent in those situations. According to Proverbs 31:8-9, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.” (New Living Translation).
Why is it easy to join the gossip rather than defend the person they are gossiping about? Some of the reasons could be that we don’t want to hurt the person who is gossiping, or we want to fit in and don’t want to look different or weird. Other times we might have been hurt by the person they are gossiping about, so we might feel justified to be silent. I think sometimes we all like to vent about things we go through in life, which is different than gossiping. According to Cambridge Dictionary (2022), “Gossip is a conversation or reports about other people’s private lives that might be unkind, disapproving, or not true.” On the other hand, venting is letting out strong and sometimes angry emotions and just saying what you think (Vent – Definition, Meaning & Synonyms, n.d.).
Here are my thoughts on how we can avoid conversations that can lead to gossip. The best way to keep in check is to ensure we only talk about the situation and not the person. Once our focus shifts from the actual situation to speaking mean things about another person, it might be a warning sign that the conversation can lead to gossip. According to James (2022), “Gossiping is a casual or unconstrained conversation about other people involving details that may or may not be accurate. It intends to purposely hurt the person of focus out of jealousy, vengefulness, or hate” (para. 9).
The Bible also warns us not to associate with gossipers. According to Proverbs 17:4, “Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander”(New International Version). It is also important to ensure that what we say is all facts and not stories about the other person. Casual venting might be ok as long as it is used for healthy reasons to share about a situation, pray about it, and move on. According to James (2022), “Venting comes from a genuine, individual frustration and is about one’s own feelings. It can help get a problem off the chest from a personal perspective so one can move on” (para. 3).
I hope I don’t join others who gossip in the future. I also wish I speak up and not be silent when faced with situations where others say bad things about another person who is not in the room. I also hope that I don’t become a gossiper.
References
Cambridge Dictionary. (2022, June 29). gossip. @CambridgeWords. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/gossip
James, R. (2022, November 2). Venting versus gossip: Yes, there’s a difference. www.dentistryiq.com.
https://www.dentistryiq.com/dentistry/article/14285175/venting-versus-gossip-yes-theres-a-difference
Vent -Definition, Meaning & Synonyms. (n.d.). Vocabulary.com. Retrieved May 23, 2023, from
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/vent#:~:text=When%20you%20vent%2C%20you%20let
