Have you ever compared your life with others? I’m ashamed to admit that I have done that not once or twice but many times. We live in a culture where everyone posts about their life on social media, and it is so easy to compare our lives with others. The thing to be aware of is that social media doesn’t usually show the complete picture, and we might often end up comparing our lives to someone else’s highlight reels.
Others might be in a phase in life that we have been praying for or desiring to be in and haven’t reached that phase yet. Seeing others making progress in all those phases of life before us can create pressure and cause discontentment. There is constant pressure in our society to keep moving forward. For example, if we are in the dating phase, there is pressure to get married soon. If we are in the married phase, there is pressure to have kids. If we are in the kids’ stage, there is pressure to make sure the kids have a good education and are keeping up with other kids in society. This cycle never stops, and it is easy for us to give in to those pressures.
When we compare our lives with others, we start to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our loved ones. If we don’t check our hearts, comparison can lead to jealousy. We desperately begin to try to be like someone, and we might even get irritated or upset when others succeed in their life. The Cambridge Dictionary states, “Jealousy is a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something that you want.” The Bible warns us about jealousy. According to James 3:14-16 “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing” (New American Standard Bible).
Some of the ways to not get into the comparison trap:
1) Ask for God’s forgiveness if you are jealous of someone who is succeeding. According to I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (New American Standard Bible).
2) Genuinely be happy when others are in a phase you haven’t reached yet.
3) Take a break from social media or anything else that might lead into the comparison trap.
4) Focus on your life and the journey that God is taking you with anticipation. Our story will be very different than others, and it is okay. We need to be content and happy with the story that God is still writing and not get distracted by others’ stories. According to Romans 8:28-29, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters” (New American Standard Bible).
5) Be thankful for all the things God has blessed you with. Be thankful for the person that God created you and the journey you are walking. According to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (New American Standard Bible).
God has created each one of us for a purpose. You are unique, your gifts are valuable, and your story is beautiful, just the way it is.
