Forgiveness was one of the topics I used to dread to talk about it. I’ve gone through situations that made me feel so bitter and angry toward someone who had hurt me. I didn’t realize how much bitterness was eating me. I understand why the quote by Joanna Weaver says, “Bitterness is like drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do because we might feel justified to be angry with the person who hurt us. The hurt was so deep that I felt the other person didn’t deserve my forgiveness, and I felt justified to be angry. I learned that forgiveness takes time; it cannot happen overnight and is not a one-time thing. I had to choose to forgive, even when I didn’t feel like forgiving, and I had to do it all over again every day.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean we always need to reconcile with the other person. In some situations, it may not be healthy to reconcile. In other cases, reconciling might be okay, but clear boundaries should be set.
Now that I’m on the other side of forgiveness, it is so freeing. I feel like a big load has been taken off of my shoulders. It took a lot of time to get here. Does that mean I completely forgot everything this person did to hurt me? Does that mean I don’t have any boundaries set with that person who hurt me? Not at all. I still remember the hurt caused, but it doesn’t make me respond sinfully. I have also set healthy boundaries with the person who has hurt me.
So, if you are walking this path of unforgiveness or bitterness toward someone who hurt you, give yourself the time you need to heal and take it one day at a time. Bitterness is not worth it; it only takes away all your peace. According to Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (New American Standard Bible). When we can hand it over to God, we can trust Him to bring justice. Even if we don’t see Him bringing justice while we live on earth, He will when we go to heaven.
